Light and Love (Crystal Hearts Trilogy: Book 3)WIP
by Volyren Nightsong
Summary: A little over a year has passed... Future Steven's dreams become disturbing and he begins to feel out of place. The darkness in his dreams manifests even during the day. While his loved ones and new friends worry about him, strange happenings begin occurring around Beach City, and a decision must be made. Can you love someone enough to let them go? (2nd update)


He could see he was moving down a corridor in a dimly lit structure, and there were blurry figures that he passed, some apparently moving in the opposite direction as he. There was a bright light at the end of the corridor, and as he drew closer, his vision focused. The figures around him were white, featureless humanoids with black eyes and no visible expression on their face or in any body movements. They buzzed about in their duties as if oblivious to anything else in the world.

This place seemed familiar, but he could not remember why. And he couldnt seem to control his own body despite being fully aware of his surroundings.

He reached the end of the corridor and entered a room with strange machinery and alien looking devices of unknown design or purpose strewn about everywhere. It was then that he noticed two important things. One, that what he had assumed was a moving walkway had in fact, not been. He was walking. But he had no control over his body. He couldnt even move his head or focus his eyes anywhere. It was as if he were an unwilling tag-a-long in someone else's body. Yet, he knew this was not the case. This WAS his body.

Wasn't it?

The second thing he noticed, and shockingly so, was that he was speaking, though again, he had no control over the words being said, and more confusing and alarming, the voice was not his.

"You sent for me, brother?"

A white robed man stood up from the table where he was hunched over various components, tinkering with interlocking pieces of some unknown device. His short white beard was well manicured and his face was an odd mixture of youthful features and sharp angles, but his eyes belied the fact that this was a being that was very, very old. Creases lined the outside of his eyes and his stare was at once both chilling and captivating. His eyes seemed to focus on a spot beyond where he was standing, yet he had the distinct impression that the man was staring INTO him, rather than past him or through him.

He brushed his flowing ivory robes straight and spoke in a voice that was neither frightening nor calming.

"Yes. The preparations are complete, and we need to begin very soon."

"Then you have managed to cut the gem? But i thought all attempts to scratch it had failed?" He could feel anticipation, excitement and awe in himself, though he struggled to understand if they were his own emotions. "Could it be? Did you finally manage to get the nanomachines to break the molecular bonds?"

The white robed figure's eyes drooped momentarily as if in defeat.

"No. The structure was simply too dense. So dense in fact, that each atomic mote was compressed into each other, their electron orbits intertwined and the nuclei were nearly fused. Severing a single connection resulted in the structure compressing further and becoming even more dense. I am afraid there is no way to cut this gem. It is unusable."

"Then …." he could feel the confusion, not even needing to hear it in his voice.

"I have instead created a facsimile that shares most of this gemstone's properties, and have secured a viable matrix inside it, cut to perfection." The man paused for a moment as a fleeting emotion crossed his otherwise blank expression "The diamonds will be unable to scratch this gem, let alone shatter it. Their rebellion will soon end." He looked back up into his eyes with that piercing gaze. "All that remains, is for you to allow me to transfer you into it… brother."

He watched his vision shift to the floor briefly as he gave a stoic nod of acceptance.

"We must first isolate you until you can grasp and control your new powers, as they pose a danger to all of us."

He felt his eyebrow raise and eyes narrow questioningly.

"Yes. brother, even to me. We are beings of light. As are all beings. We are wavelength and distance, unending and ever moving, and as such, we cannot be destroyed or removed from this universe. Certainly, our forms can be destroyed, our gems shattered and our bodies lost, and our light will radiate out into the vastness. But because of this fact, it means that light can also be retrieved and given a new matrix, making all our foes immortal. " The robed man's head drooped a bit as if under immense weight. "We cannot wage this war eternally. It was a mistake to give them bipedal forms to better relate to their charges, and a far worse one to allow them emotion. Now they truly are just as the beings they were created to monitor and protect. Full of endless potential, and thus, full of endless mistakes, selfishness, greed and unnecessary bonds that they use to justify any action they make, regardless of the cost to the universe or other lives."

He felt himself suppress an exasperated sigh

"Brother, i know this. You speak of it often, and there is no need to remind me. I still remember the other seven thousand, five hundred and eighty two times you have made this same point."

"Apologies, my brother. But this time, i have succeeded in finding a solution. A rather elegant and poetic one at that. What is the simplest way to extinguish a fire?"

Before his(?) body could even react, the robed man continued.

"You smother it with water. If you want to stop electrical discharge, you smother it with earth." For the briefest of moments, a proud smile began to form on the white haired figure's face, but it quickly faded back into his emotionless expression. "If you want to stop light from spreading, it's a simple matter of smothering it….. With darkness."

Steven awoke with a start, and as he raised up into sitting position, sweat rolled into his eyes and he squinted and rubbed at his eyes. These dreams were maddening.

His hands were trembling. He couldnt stop shaking. He might have felt a bit less manly doing so. But he knew a surefire way to calm himself. He reached out and took Amethyst's hand and gently pulled her to him. Nothing calmed him more than holding her. He felt complete.

But something was off.

He wasn't feeling her plump softness. Instead, she felt slight and thin and as he rubbed his eyes to see clearly, he felt lips against his, and he jerked away reflexively, successfully throwing himself right out of bed in his blind haste. As he rubbed his aching back, he blinked away the stinging sweat and finally saw his molester.

Sitting up in his bed was Amethyst with that look she got when she was suppressing her laughter. Normally, he found it beautiful and endearing, but at the present moment, he wished he had something to throw at her.

And it all had to do with the child sized figure kneeling in his spot on the bed, eyes still closed and lips puckered.

"Damnitt, Amethyst!" Steven exclaimed as he pulled his long hair back and got back to his feet.

The small figure slowly opened one eye and looked back towards Amethyst, her lips still puckered, distorting her voice. "Di I doo eet riite?"

Amethyst blubbered out her held breath and broke down into laughter, rolling back and forth on the bed. Steven rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Peridot….. We've discussed this. Please get out of my bed and stop with these 'experiments'. Mine and Amethyst's life is not a science experiment. And just… ugh…. I cant right now. Please. Just…. Go."

With an uncertain and defeated look on her face, Peridot dragged her feet as she walked across the floor of the barn loft and back down the steps.

He collapsed onto the bed and let out a huge breath, rubbing his temples.

"Why do you encourage her like that?" Steven asked rhetorically. He already knew why. It was part of why he loved her so much. She always wanted to have fun, even at her own expense, and most definitely at his.

She scooted over towards him and lay her head on his chest. "Sorry. She came in while you were asleep and when you began thrashing about like that, i knew you would reach for me….. I told her to…. Eh. Sorry. Those dreams have been happening more and more lately." She ran her hand across his stomach and nuzzled into his chest. "I didnt realize just how badly they have been bothering you."

He sighed and reached up to stroke her hair. "So much has happened in the last year. New gems, Lars stuck on homeworld, moving out here, just…. Its not what I envisioned. And now these weird dreams….. Not to mention the green child-dwarf taking a very creepy interest in us."

"Aww, come on! Peri isn't that bad! She's just curious. And she talks funny, and she's a riot!"

"Well, sorry. It just makes me feel weird. She looks like a kid. And on top of that, it's not like i am out on the rooftop screaming about what we do at night. Its…. just not something you really talk about with others."

She snickered into his chest and quietly replied. "...and thats why its so much fun to tease you, hehe…"

Steven flicked her ear.

"Lets just get some sleep. And…. if you don't mind… just….."

She nuzzled into his chest and wrapped her arms around him tightly. "I'll stay just like this." She kissed his chest "no more bad dreams while i'm on guard duty."

"And no green midgets?"

She laughed.

"I promise."

He kissed the top of her head, and closed his eyes.

The weight of her head on his chest, the smell of her hair, the smooth softness of her skin against his, so warm and comforting.

In moments, Steven fell deep asleep with a smile on his face.

Morning came early, and he felt as though he had merely blinked and the night had passed. Amethyst still lay against his chest, her breathing regular, and he could feel the cool air across drying drool that had pooled from her parted lips.

It made him smile, thinking of how much she had grown in the time he had been here. Before, she was unable to sleep, since gems don't need to rest. But here she was, asleep on his chest, her ear over his heart, letting the rhythmic beat lull her into a comfortable sleep. He wanted nothing more than to lay here for the rest of his life, so close to her. He closed his eyes and silently thanked the powers that be that the young Steven here had no interest in her, and instead had found a friend in that girl from the parade.

Would the same have happened to him if Zircon had never showed up?

He tried to imagine his life without her. It felt wrong.

Not just wrong, but 'WRONG', as if his brain were repelled by the idea, and his body went cold. No, never loving her, it wasnt just wrong, it was a feeling of discord. Of unbelonging. As if trying to imagine his life as a cockroach or gnat. He was always great at putting himself in others shoes, understanding their problems, their wants, desires. But trying to imagine himself without her was flatly impossible.

What time was it?

Steven saw the light shining rays through the curtains, leaving illuminated rays of visible dust swirling gently through the air. Those rays touched the long locks of her white hair and played a rainbow shimmer down the length of each follicle, as if the bright light of her personality was dancing up and down every hair on her head.

He closed his eyes again, smiling, committing the image to memory, and placing it alongside hundreds more examples of the beauty she exuded, filed away carefully in his mind, and held tightly to the core of who he was.

So many events he had never imagined could be possible had filled his time here. New gems, a pink lion, fusion, befriending the biggest jerk in Beach City and inspiring him to sacrifice himself in order to save the very boy he had spent so much time tormenting.

Well, technically, its not me, he had to remind himself. Which is why he came here to the barn when the other two had settled in. He needed to distance himself from the young boy who was so filled with hope and wonder that he could turn enemies into friends.

Thats not who i am…. Steven admitted to himself. Steven…. The young Steven….He had friends and family to support him, pick him up when he fell, and inspire him to be always better than the day before.

But that wasn't HIS story.

He once had that life…. But it was taken from him. And so were those he held so dear to his heart. Years spent running for his life, eating things that even Amethyst would find disgusting. Always in fear.

From Garnet he learned strength, determination. Duty. But the stoic Gem couldnt give him the emotional tutoring of Pearl, nor the unbridled and chaotic joy of Amethyst's play…..

He tried to remember the moment in which he gave up on hope, and accepted his demise. When his only goal left in life was to see her one last time, and to take the monster that had destroyed his world along into the the darkness with him.

That feeling of discord filled him again, and he shoved it to the back of his mind.

That's why he had to get away from Steven. The younger version of himself looked up to him as something to emulate. And Steven was not a person to deify. He truly was happy that he had given his young self a chance to enjoy the life that had been stolen from him, but Steven would not lie to himself.

Any good that came from his actions was merely a happy mistake. His only intent had been to see 'her' again.

He was no hero.

Not someone to look up to.

The light in his soul was as tainted as the gems affected by corruption.

The darkness in him…

Steven shuddered unconsciously.

Amethyst moaned a bit and shifted her head on his chest.

He glanced towards the clock, wondering how late it was. But her hair had fallen in the way, blocking his view. He debated with himself for a moment, but decided against straining his neck to look. It didnt matter to him what time it was. She was lying here next to him. He could smell her hair, and feel her soft skin that had already become stuck to him from prolonged contact. He'd rather die than end this feeling early.

Every scar on his heart faded in her presence.

She was his salvation. His panacea.

There was nothing he would not do for her. Not a single thing.

He lay back into his pillow, smiling. I'll just lay here and rest until she feels like getting up. But i won't move a muscle until then…..

"Are you sure its ready, brother?"

Steven was again in another's body, again a voiceless passenger, along for the ride. He couldnt even close his eyes or shut his ears. He truly was a captive audience.

"Yes brother, we have done all the calculations and the transfer will be successful, i assure you." The white robed figure stood from his workstation and moved over to adjust several knobs and buttons on the capsule-like contraption that he would soon have to enter…..

"The matrix i have embedded for you is over ten times larger than needed for your light." The man smiled mirthlessly in what he could only assume was an attempt to be comforting.

He was speaking again. Steven hated having words come from his mouth without his input….

"But….." he began "If there is so much extra space, will i not have trouble creating and sustaining my form? I realize it is always better to have extra space, in order to grow and learn. But this is more than any one of us could ever need….."

"Worry not brother, you will find it not nearly as empty as you assume. The remainder will be filled with your new powers and abilities. It has been a labor of many hundreds of cycles. You will be the answer to ending this cursed war." He looked up, his eyes wide, and an actual smile was on his face, unabashedly, as he proudly declared "Once this is done, you will be… perfect."

Steven could feel his host's eyes narrow and an eyebrow raise. "Perfect? But…" Steven could feel his worry increase. "Perfection is not something that is attainable, brother. You yourself have said so many times. It is in the act of seeking perfection that we grow and better ourselves, but as you've told me repeatedly, its not an undertaking that can be finished. It is an unending journey towards an ever moving destination. Speaking of perfection like this, to be honest you sound a bit like…"

The robed figure let the tool he was holding fall noisily to the table and stood stiff with his back to his brother. "Like them. The Diamonds."

Steven felt his gut churn and he got the feeling that his host had just discovered the taste of one's own foot in one's mouth. He began to speak, but his brother continued.

"That's what you were going to say, right? That I sound like those corrupt little experiments who dare to claim they are the rightful masters of this universe?"

"No, brother, I didn't mean…"

"It's quite alright. I take no offense. It IS something they would say." The robed figure acquiesced. "But the difference is great between me and them. I created them long ago, when i still had much to learn. This is different now."

The robed man stepped before him and grabbed him by the shoulders, staring directly at him with his terrifyingly empty eyes. "I know you are afraid, brother. But please do not be so." He squeezed his shoulders in his long delicate fingers. "I have worked so long on this and this alone, to be sure that i was not sending my only brother into danger." He smiled, both warm and assuring, and his empty eyes showed a twinkle of care and….. Love? Steven wasn't quite sure, but it was quite the change in personality. "When we are done, you will be the greatest of us, Brother."

He could feel stirring emotions in not-his head. And his vision blurred as his host teared up with pride and love. "No, Brother. You have always been the greatest of us, and always will you be. Without you we would have been lost so many times. So many beings, on so many worlds know not what you have sacrificed for them."

The white robed figure embraced him as a pair of those creepy albinoid things approached with data pads and took point at either side of the transference chamber.

As they separated, Steven's host glanced to his left, out over the overly white balcony, with its geometric railings. The twin suns, both blue and red cast brilliant colors across the atmosphere that remained on this shattered planetoid which they had made into their base of operations. It was a beautiful sight. He blinked away the wetness from his eyes, and resolved himself to the experiment. What life had graced this shattered world before the Diamonds had brought war to the Guardians? Though none remained, the beauty of even this shattered world was something he needed to protect.

The white robed figure was consulting with the two albinoids as they opened the chamber and were making final preparations "Are you…."

"I am ready, Brother." Steven's host declared. "I trust you."

The other man shot him a caring smile as he waved his arm toward the pod. The host moved confidently across the small room and without hesitation stepped into the device.

"I am proud of you brother." The man spoke sweetly to him. "You will soon be able to realize the goal of our long work." his face contorted into a grimace for a brief moment. "But you know…. The …. Well….."

"I know, brother. Do not worry. You must release me from this form. I am not afraid." He pulled a black bladed dagger from his side and placed its tip against his chest, offering the pommel to his brother. "Think nothing of it. My form has never been lost, in all these ages, but i could think of no one better to keep me safe and secure than you while i reside inside my matrix."

For a moment, the white robed man was silent, his lips slightly parted and his eyes wide in amazement or shock. For the briefest of moments, Steven thought he could see sadness written across his expression, but it faded quickly, replaced by that uncomfortably perfect smile.

"See you soon, …." Steven realized he had missed something, being lost in analyzing the odd robed man. His name? He tried to recall what had just been said, but events were not pausing while he pondered, and the next words froze his blood cold.

Reaching forward and taking the dagger's handle in one hand and Steven's host's shoulder with the other, he smiled and replied in kind.

"See you soon, Zircon."

And before Steven could barely register the shock of his revelation, he felt a sharp pain in his chest as the dagger was thrust through him and suddenly his entire world went dark. He couldn't see, but the darkness was not frightening. It was soothing…. Comforting almost. Like being cradled. He could still hear the voices of the white robed man and one or both of the albinoids as they discussed the procedure using words that were likely beyond Steven's understanding.

"Light pattern acquired and linked to new host." a voice sounded out.

"Inserting matrix bracing and Project Quintess pattern"

Steven heard the white robed man speak "Anomaly in section 735-b on facet 9. Initiate stabilization gap measure 3"

"Anomaly corrected. The flux is within desired parameters. Time window for transfer is 12 seconds."

There was moment of pause, then confidently, the white robed one spoke a final word.

"Activate."

In a moment, Steven's soul screamed out in agony.

The comforting darkness around him became like a nest of vipers and stabbed into him relentlessly. He had no words to describe the torment of the pain. It was as if he was lost in a sea of inky acid, unable to float. Slowly dissolving into nothingness, as the poison writhed in his body.

He opened his mouth to scream but only allowed another point of access to the thick darkness to enter him. He choked on it and his mind went blank with panic and shock. Slowly his thoughts faded, lost to the pain, unable to even comprehend what was going on anymore.

It seemed an eternity of suffering, though some small part of him recalled mention of 12 seconds. And suddenly, it was over.

He felt sickly and broken, but his body felt immeasurably strong. He had never felt anything remotely like it. He was almost giddy with the power he felt. As he began to ponder how long until his form returned, he felt his lips part and a wicked laugh issue forth.

Steven realized he was already reformed.

Slowly, his host opened his eyes, and gazed down at his new body.

And Steven wished he could look away.

A mixture of fear, revulsion and nausea swept through him.

He knew that shifting darkness billowing forth from his arms and legs.

He watched as his host's eyes narrowed and focused on his brother through the containment glass. A guttural scream flew from his trembling lips.

"PERFECTION! Oh Brother, YES!"

Steven felt jerked back and forth inside the container as his host's hyperactive movements sent his mind reeling in attempt to keep up with the faster pace of his head swinging around. He soon realized that it was not just his movements, but his entire body shifting and throwing off Steven's senses. Elbows, knees, necks, none of these things seemed to be a new part of this body of his. It was an eternally shifting mass of darkness.

"Brother! Release me and let me go end this foolish war!"

"Hold for a moment, Zircon" the white robed figure chided as the two albinoids conferred with him, showing graphs and various other technical readouts that Steven could not make sense of.

Zircon was still thrashing about madly, nearly frothing with the excitement and power he felt.

"I will crush them into dust and spread their ashes across the empty blackness!"

Steven watched as the man nodded to the albinoids.

"Such a shame…." He tossed the data pad onto the table and began to adjust the pod's controls.

Zircon became quiet for a moment and began pounding on the glass.

"What is wrong brother? It worked! I am unstoppable! I am perfection!" a mad cackle of laughter issued from his clenched jaw as his teeth ground together. "Those Diamonds…. Those WORMS will know the truth of their insignificance!"

The white robed man picked up a small device and held it to his mouth, sighing and then pressing some small switch on its side. "Experiment 37….. Is also a failure. Subject is unable to control powers and light pattern has been degraded by 73 percent, resulting in imbalance and deteriorated cognizance. Personality did not survive transfer, and Project Quintess once again filled in the gaps left in his matrix, resulting in an incomplete being, and an unusable specimen. Recommendation; Further experiments should not be undertaken. Move ahead with plan Gate-7 instead. Specimen will be contained indefinitely.

Steven's body suddenly felt heavy, like it was being squeezed into a ball. The force continued getting stronger by the second until it became insanely painful.

He lost his vision as his host's eyes blurred, either from tears or the containments effects, he wasn't sure.

He could hear the deafening voice of Zircon, but in a way that he had never expected to hear him.

In panic.

In pain.

"Brother, please! IT hurts! Help me, I beg you!"

Steven could see the blurry outline of the white figure walking away from the pod, calmly conversing with his subordinates. "Yes, once containment is complete, launch the pod into the black hole. We need to make sure he never escapes."

After another calm sigh, he quietly spoke, likely to himself. "A true shame. I thought surely he could handle it. But I suppose my creations are not advanced enough to handle the power. So many years wasted coddling him. What a bother…."

Steven was having trouble even maintaining consciousness. The pressure was too much.

But the final words he heard scarred him worse than anything else in these nightmares.

Quietly sobbing, Zircon called out with a final breath.

"Brother…. But….. I love you…...:"

And then there was nothing.

Steven awoke screaming.

It took him a moment to realize that he was awake and back in his own body.

Amethyst's worried eyes gazed into his.

Steven tried to find the words, but he simply couldn't process any of it….

To her credit, she didn't ask anything silly like 'are you okay?', instead, she blinked back her tears of worry and threw her arms around him, cradling his head against her shoulder and stroking his hair.

And she just held him.

But for the first time since he felt the wonder of being in her arms, the warmth would not penetrate his being. He was ice, staring blankly over her shoulder at the far wall, his body still limp.

All his life he had struggled against, hated, plotted, and given his all to end the monster that took his life from him.

And now….. He was broken.

All he could feel….

Was pity.

(More to come soon. I just need to finish up connecting sections. Sorry for the long wait, but i finally got a working laptop, so no more trying to type on a broken phone keypad. :) )

In the meantime, this was an unpublished snippet that i intended to post but never could. (my phone wouldnt let me access fanfiction correctly.) it occurs about midway through the story (assuming here).

Snippet 2

Going is slow on the writing right now, but ikm working on it. I have most of the entire story noted out, its just a matter of writing the beginning and joining sections that are already complete. What is making it take so long is the lack of a good way to type everything up. Right now, my only way of writing is using my phone, which has a slideout keyboard. (droid 2 global). But its old, and the keys stick and have ridiculous repeat rates on the p, the h, and n as well as some which dont register a press all thhe time. Makes writing a real chore. But i'm working on it.

This is a Snippet. I hope it holds everyone off until i can release the full multi page true start of Light and Love. Thanks, everyone for the continued support and interest. And just to make sure there's no confusion, this story will begin over a year after the end of the last. The events that have occured in the shhow, have happened here as well, but Future Steven has done his best to avoid interfering with the normal workings of this universe. Hhe hhas been staying in a shed on the farm with Lapis and Peridot to keep his distance from younger steven, as he felt he was influencing him in a negative way. Episodes are caught up, storywise and Light and Love begins shortly after Steven's return from homeworld.

This snippet occurs roughly midway through the story 9as i hhave it planned, but who knows... After all, sometimes i get on a roll and it just blooms from there. Darkness and Hope was only pplanned to be 40-50 ppages, after all, and it ended up double that.

This snipppet should not contain any major pplot sppoilers, but if youre worried about spoiling anything, then stop here. I have already begun on the opening, and its over 50% complete and sits at 2 pages currently. Im planning on making sure each update is at least 10 ppages, if not more.

That being said, here is the snipppet, and again, sorry for all the delays.

Thank you all.:)

This occurs after a test flight of a ship they have acquired to travel deep into space.

...

Steven zipped his pack shut, admiring just how much he had managed to fit inside. He had no idea how long this journey would be, so he needed to be prepared. If he starved, his body would float through space, and the universe would continue to unravel until nothing was left. He had to make sure everything was taken care of so he could reach the event horizon and end this horror.

Once again, Amethyst's haunting eyes filled his mind, and Steven clutched his chest and doubled over, breathless as he futilely attempted to push the image from his mind. Just the thought that he had held her for the last time was enough to take all the strength from his body and his legs began to buckle as he was overcome by tears.

He punched the tile floor again and again with his bare fist, letting the pain flood his mind and banish all other thoughts as the tile below him cracked and cut his knuckles.

He managed to get his trembling body under control and stood, slinging the pack over his shoulder. He needed to leave quickly, before his mind wandered again and his heart overpowered his resolve to what must be done.

As he turned towards the door, a shudder went down his spine as his ears picked up a ppair of footsteps come to a halt behind him. But even knowing this was inevitable, he couldnt bring himself to turn around. He remained frozen as his mind and heart warred internally.

"Steven?" A concerned voice called out.

Slowly he turned to face Garnet and Pearl. He met their eyes and knew he had to speak to them. He had feared this, dreaded it. But there was no turning back now. He couldnt allow his selfishness to harm anyone else.

He sat on the floor, motioning them to do the same, and once he got his voice under control, he measured their reactions as he explained all. Why he had to leave. Why he didnt want to wait, to find another way. He assured them he wasnt going on a suicide mission. He knew that would be as disastrous as doing nothing. His very prescence here was unraveling the weave of time and space, and the minor incidents they had been witnessing were only getting worse. There was no telling how many people had been hurt by these unstable tears in spacetime. How many people has disappeared into nothingness? He could never know, for anyone removed from the universe would affect all others in that universe. If Pearl had vanished, then he would be speaking only to Garnet and neither of them would have even an inkling of who she had been. Every moment spent together, every tear and laugh, every memorable moment, every warm feeling and loving moment, gone forever. And they would be none the wiser.

He could see their faces. He had been right to just tell the truth. Pearl was shocked and he hadnt seen her jaw close since he began explaining about the rifts. For Garnet's reaction there was no need for guesswork. Her fists were clenched and he saw wetness below the edge of her glasses.

He stood, quickly, needing every moment he could keep his resolve in place and took a step towards the door.

"Steven... You know we are coming too."

Pearl's shaky voice was soon joined by Garnet's.

"That's right."

Steven's blood ran cold.

"Please... Oh god, not this..." he silently mouthed.

He swallowed hard and turned to face them. "I'm sorry my friends... But I have to do this alone. And you understand why..."

"Well, thats not gonna happen" Garnet said, matter-of-factly.

Pearl stepped forward and mirrored the sentiment.

"Of course we couldnt let you do this alone." Pearl took his face between her hands, and her touch filled Steven with pain and nausea and he mentally cursed himself for letting the contact occur. He knew he was hurting his friends. Everyone he loved. And what was meant to be comfort had turned to cruel torture in the realization of what must be done. "Steven, you are a part of us. We are your family. Its obvious how much pain this is causing you. You have so much on your shoulders and still, youre thinking of us... And of her." Another stab of pain. Aimed right at his heart. But she wasnt done. " There is no way we could let you carry all this by yourself. We each will take a part of the burden. And I'm sure that while she might be upset at first, you know that..."

Oh god... Please no... Dont say it...

"Amethyst would agree with us."

He couldnt do it. It was too much. He fought to keep his emotions in check, even as tears blurred his vision and his fists trembled at his sides.

Amethyst wouldn't be joining them. Steven had made sure of it. He felt bad about lying. And about using Peridot in this way, but he had little time to think of a plan.

Peridot had been pestering both him and Amethyst about her curiosities. And her favorite subject seemed to be 'cross-dimensional organic hybrid mating rituals with native light-based life forms'. It made Steven squirm in his seat, her questions about he and Amethyst's personal business, especially in the bedroom. But of course, Amethyst just LOVED going into every detail as the small, bookwormish, green girl noted down every detail. Amethyst made it seem so magical that Peridot had matter-of-factly asked to observe and participate the next time, and Amethyst had agreed that it was a fun idea even as the mortified look on his face faded into unheard protests of how weird that would be and that he wasn't sure it was a good idea. But those two would talk for hours about it, and Steven had learned to just leave the room to avoid the embarrassment.

When he realized what he had to do about this event horizon business, he knew immediately that he had to find a way to make her go away until he could leave. No amount of preparation or mental fortitude could have helped him if she told him not to go, or asked to accompany him.

He knew he could deny her nothing.

So when they got back from the test flight of the Nascent Epiphany, he knew he had to come up with something.

So he had told Amethyst that Peridot had wanted to have another embarrassing chat, and kissed her one last time before she headed out. Amethyst knew how embarrassed it made him, so she didnt ask him to come.

As she left, he collapsed and sobbed. She would be gone for at least 4 hours. Even if she came back right away when she realized Peridot hadnt asked her to come and became suspicious.

When he finally got his tears and body under control, he still had two hours.

Lost in his memories, Pearl took his lengthy silence as him aquiescing to their demand to accompany him.

She squeezed his face and kissed his forehead.

"Like we said, Steven, we are family. And we can't let you do this alone. We will be there, right by your side."

Garnet nodded her agreement and her and Pearl began rummaging through the house, looking for what to bring with them.

Steven's trembling hand was in his pack, and he stared at the floor, cursing again and again as his eyes overflowed with tears. This was the worst possible outcome he had imagined, but there was no turning back. He had to do it.

He withdrew his hand, and yellowish energy coursed down the length of the gem destabilizer clutched in his shaking fist.

He tried in vain to blink the tears from his vision, as his eyes focused on on his two friends. His family...

His targets.

Quietly, with shaky voice, he answered their previous statement.

"No..." the tears began anew as he moved toward two people he had to protect, even from themselves. "...You won't be."


End file.
